Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Creepy Once Removed- It's Not What S/He Wears

I was not actually present for this, hence the "once removed" bit. 

I heard from a friend today about a conversation she had with a group of her coworkers.  They were discussing the fact that a woman had her chest grabbed one recent evening in downtown Abq.  One of them, a doctor, wondered aloud as to what that woman had been wearing.  In the retelling of this, I'm somewhat uncertain if the doctor was wondering, or indicating his belief that the woman could have worn something that would warrant that kind of treatment.  Either way, to even ask about it suggests the latter, and THAT'S CREEPY!

I know it's a firmly held belief.  However, it is inconsequential, insignificant, unimportant, inapplicable, irrelevant, unrelated, not at issue, what someone wears when s/he is assaulted.  Like... if you had a really nice car, and it got broken into and someone said "Well, you were asking for it; you have a Lexus."  Or if your lawn furniture was vandalized and someone said "Well, you shouldn't have had such nice stuff, that's like asking for people to mess with it."  See?  Those are ridiculous, and so is saying that what someone wears is asking for disrespect, mistreatment, assault and trauma. 

Let's put it another way.  Instead of thinking "if someone wears a low cut top and bottoms that show some cheek, then she's asking for it", turn it the other way around: "it's okay to grab somebody if s/he's wearing something that shows skin."  Huh?  Did your mama not teach you any manners? 

Seriously, it's time for us to apply some reality to folks with a metaphorical hayfork.  It's called getting a grip.  Now that's something you can grab without having to ask.

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