Tuesday, October 2, 2012

With No Love, From Me

I was Stumbling around the internet, which I do whenever I'm bored or stressed out.  I have humour listed as one of my interests; and so it brought me to a picture of someone's facebook post, and it was entitled "This kid knows what the fuck is up."

The post itself explained that a young man was accused of judging girls on what they look like and what they wear as opposed to personality.  He countered that he'd start judging girls on personality when they stopped "caking on the makeup and wearing low cut shirts".

Well, you know I just had to say something about this.  First I "disliked" the page.  But that wasn't enough.  I made a comment, trying hard to make it palatable.  This goal of mine (to make things palatable) is probably the one attribute I have that frustrates me the most.  Why?  Because this is what I wanted to say:

"You stupid asshole.  Whether or not you treat women in a polite or respectful manner is not dependent on what her body looks like or how she presents it.  Period.  If you saw a woman with 36-25-34 measurements running down the street naked screaming crazily at you and wielding a chainsaw, would you primarily stare at her breasts?  Get a boner?  Say to her "hey, you look fine" and then use one of those terrible pick up lines about her looking good in your bed?  Would you be more likely to say, run the other direction?  Call for help?  Get scared?

You are not a slave to your hormones or your peebrained, culturally endowed attitudes.  Grow yourself some decent values and use those like cojones.  I blame attitudes like yours for the assault and battery and rape culture we live in.  I hope you sit on the small end of an orange highway cone with a beehive inside."

Here's what I really wrote.  If there are more than one comment, look for mine labeled Kathryn 12/10/02.

1 comment:

  1. I've hears some folks say they can't get to the original comment I left, so I'll copy it in here.

    "I get that point, and also there is a whole cultural history at work here that might be considered. Without going into the vast details, basically our culture, historically and today, puts a very high value on women’s sexuality. I mean, we can see this in advertisements and in media clearly. This is one of those things that does trickle down to individuals who learn that women’s value is in her sexual attributes -i.e. how she looks and how she presents herself.

    Women are usually not aware of this working behind the scenes unless they’ve studied it but they learn that in order to have power, they need to display value, and culturally value is highly placed on her sex.

    I’m not saying that women should or should not do this, but the issue of whether or not women are valued for the content of her inner person or outer person is something that we can decide, as individuals, if we do. Turning the issue into a “I’ll do what you want if you behave a certain way” is, frankly, coercive and is the sort of thinking that leads to a culture in which women are assaulted and raped and then not believed.